Time is just a way of saying I'm sorry for not writing.

I just finished writing a paper on whether Iago was a human being gone bad or a demon. I suppose my mind was made up before I even started. It's too easy to call anyone a demon. Life is hard. People are bad. We make stupid decisions.

I make a lot of stupid decisions. List of stupid decisions:

1) Not trying harder in Intro to Psych. I haven't gotten lower than a B- since I started college. I will fuck that up this summer vacation where I barely tried in my summer classes. I have to at least get a C-. I have to at least pass. Please.

2) Pushing the boyfriend. His move is imminent and I can't wait. I mean, I can, but it's hard. I nag, I admit this. I don't want to. He tries as hard as he can to make me happy. But, I swear to god, it is so weird to have sex in his parents' basement. Going upstairs in the morning and saying hello is an awkward experience every time.
I may not feel so bad about that part. It's more because of his family. I'm American, through and through. Dating him has made me realize this more than anything. He loves and wishes to please his family so much in a way I just don't understand. I get jealous when he spends time with them, because I don't understand a 25 year old who has a good job that wants to move out still having such strong feelings about his family. Now, his parents are some of the most wonderful human beings I have ever met. I adore them. I think. I mean, I can't spend too much time around them. I'm not aloud to. Not that he's embarrassed about anyone. It's just, nobody would feel completely comfortable with the slight language barrier and, well, just how the family dynamic is.
I'm ranting. I don't want to rant. I don't want to push. I just feel like we won't have a real, grown-up relationship until he moves out.

3)Lack of goals. I wish I had them, besides being happy. It's kind of a cop out, I admit. I have a plan I tell people to make them happy, but is it a goal? I still believe if I have a 9-5 job and my boyfriend, I'll be happy and I don't need more than that. Am I lying to myself? Will I feel the same in 5, 10, 20 years?

I'm happy. Look, I'm so very happy and delighted and in love and finding myself becoming a cooler, better person everyday.

As long as I'm not Iago...