In a sense, I've always wanted to love someone so much that when I lost them, I would feel lost. I always end up losing someone. Always sabotage myself. As I've said before, the hardest part is waiting. The hardest part is not knowing. The hardest part is not having a choice. I pushed the button, now I have to deal with the consequences. And the longer it takes, the less hope I have.

I'm so tired.