lookitme

When I was younger, I used to crave attention. I didn't know it. I just got excited really easily. And, if I was excited about something, I thought you'd want to get excited about it, too. I sometimes wonder if that's why I got into acting. I planned this. I planned all of you, staring at me, in this spotlight. See how this whole place is dark except for the spotlight on me? I did that. Now, I wonder what is more histrionic. Me being in this spotlight or me telling you all about how I planned being in this spotlight. So, if you guys could just close your eyes. Seriously, just close your eyes. Right… now. Try not to think about me, though I know you will. Because maybe, just maybe, if nobody here thinks about me or sees me, I can disappear. I can cross dimensions or break the laws of physics. Because if that would happen, I totally don't have to be histrionic anymore. It would be far too cool for me to care about the whole world staring at me. Because, I still don't actually see myself as being histrionic. Not anymore. And, I'm afraid that because I don't see it, I could get worse again. I could try to steal all the air from those closest around me and they'll hate me for it. For the next few seconds I'm going to be quiet and you're going to forget all about me.

[Silence for a few seconds.]

Open your eyes.

Shit.