I miss my orange hat. I like orange and many thinks it's my favorite color. That's wrong. It's white. But, I dislike wearing white clothing. Orange is bright and happy and full. Every piece of orange that I have has a story behind it. My orange covers for my headphones which I stole from my friend/roommate. My orange hoodie which I got because my boyfriend hit me in the eye with a toy bows and arrows set (see a previous post). My orange hat which is very not fancy gotten at a very fancy hat store.

With summer here, I could not wear that orange hat. I miss my orange hoodie as well, but not as much as that orange hat which makes my hair look just the way I want it all the time. As I can not find any pictures of me in the hat, I provide you with a picture of the boyfriend, pretending to be me.



I think it's okay to miss an inanimate object. To grow attached to something that doesn't love you back. Maybe not such a good idea for people, but my hat... it's too awesome to not have feelings for.

an ode to IKEA

Ikea.
Oh.
Ikea.
Why are you so
BIG
?
Why do I cower under your
great, big, looming
shadow?
Why did I spend
three hours
inside of you?
Was it worth it for your
59cent glasses
almond cake
crazy shower curtain
?
Maybe I will never know.

Truth or dare.

I've been seeing a lot of themes out there. Vampires are very big right now. And zombies. Ooh. Hating the government. Well, that's always been big. And, to be honest, I'm a little sick of them. It's just like anything else. Too much of a good thing (I am NOT condoning Twilight) is still too much.

So, here's the issue. There are a couple things I want to talk about, but I would really rather not talk about. Let's make a short list.

1) How my night went.
2) How I feel about myself.

See? Pretty short.

I don't want to talk about them because I feel I talk about my boyfriend (1) and my depressive states (2) too much. I'm not depressed just... tired. In any case, I am a happy person and I need to start focusing on that part of my life.

*ahem*

Dear Shaina,

I dare you to shut the hell up and love yourself for once.

Love,
Shaina.

Err...

I don't really like to tell stories about things that happen to me, anymore. It's weird. In any case, I don't have anything I really want to say about Dustincon. It was fun. I greatly enjoyed seeing him. But, stories? Naah. I'm good.

At a glance.

In Bumsfuckville, IL and will return shortly with my feelings about the weekend, including how our car broke down while we were still an hour away from our destination (with 2 hours behind us).

This is what happens when you do a marathon watching of The State and write about your hero in your blog.

Dear Shaina,
Thanks for the great write-up! I'm glad I could make you laugh!
Sincerely,
Kerri Kenney-Silver

Is it creepy that I have her email address now?

Am I old yet?

On April 8, 2009 I turned 21. On June 9, 2009 my State ID expired. Man, do I not care about getting a new one. I mean, I want to do it. I feel like it'll make me being 21, you know, legal. However, people fully accept my expired ID. Thus, there is no push to get me to do it. And going to the place. And sitting. And waiting. Plus, I want to grow my hair back out long. If I take my new picture, it's going to be short. The new ID will be sideways. I don't know what to think of that. I'll contemplate and get back to you later. I mean, I'll do it. I'll totally do it. Eventually.

I still can't find my passport or social security card.

And, shit. I have jury duty at the end of this month.

There are so many... adult things.

Kerri Kenney-Silver: My Hero

Amy Sedaris is known as the Queen of "I'm sexy, but am going to play characters that are ugly and hilarious." She's great at this, but because of it, I can't really connect to her. She never plays the ugly and hilarious version of herself. Just characters.

Kerri Kenny-Silver of the The State and Reno 911! fame is my #1 favorite lady who's willing to make a complete ass of herself in front of people. I want to be her.

Growing up, I didn't have any female role models besides members of my family. I was a tomboy. I didn't care about Julia Roberts or Sandra Bullock. Maybe I admired the Pink Ranger all those years ago, but that's just because I wanted to kick ass and take names.

Kerri (if I may call her that) will do anything and everything, even while pregnant with her child. She was on a sketch show with 10 other guys, as the only girl, and probably liked it that way.

She will never be the star. She will never be a model. She will never have millions of guys flocking towards her. No. She will be hilarious and lovely and amazing. Is this a girl crush or hero worship? Who knows?

Thank you, Kerri Kenney-Silver. I dedicate my stupidity and ridiculousness to you.

Sweet Charity

The first thing that comes up when I type CIF Chicago into google is the Chicago Improv Festival. I don't actually think the charity event my job sponsored was about that, or else I would have been much more excited. No, our had something to do with disabled or mentally ill-equipped folks.

After a little bit of research, I find it is the Center for Independent Futures. I am correct in my hypothesis:

"Join Center for Independent Futures at Cold Stone Creamery on Monday, August 3rd from 5:00 – 9:00 p.m. for a delicious ice cream treat! All are welcome to stop by the Evanston store at 1611 Sherman Avenue to enjoy a Cold Stone cone, cake, or drink. At the end of the evening, 10% of the proceeds will be donated to CIF in support of our mission to create new solutions for inviduals with disabilities and their families.

No special coupons are required—just you and your sweet tooth!

So spread the word, invite friends and begin dreaming of a delicious dessert at Cold Stone Creamery!"

We were all rather surprised this charity event was happening. I had wondered why 5 of us were working that night, 3 of us being shift leaders. It's not that I'm not happy to be involved, I just wish our boss told us... anything.

I'm big into knowing what's going on. I asked my boyfriend, on our very first date, whether it was a date or not. Then, I asked him if it would be alright if I kissed him. It's not that I don't like surprises, I just want to know what's going on in my life slightly more than other people know what's going on in my life.

We made $107 for them, by the way.